Monday, 15 May 2017

Feeling a bit lost


So last week I started this kinda wellness course. It’s actually really good so far, it’s a good group of women too. We are given a life coach, nutritionist, fitness coach and help with training/employment. But since we’ve been discussing what we would love to do with our lives or what our dream job would be it’s made me think I actually don’t know what I wanna do. Now this scares me, that I’m 34, a mother of 2 and have no clue what I wanna do with my life.
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Now I’ve always wanted to be a writer and always imagined having best sellers and my books made into movies. OK let me tell you the dream... OK, so I would release a new novel each year and would live in a beautiful boho beach house in Barbados and would sit on my swinging chair on my veranda, rum punch at my side and just write my next novel. But since that doesn’t seem to be happening I’m like what else do I wanna do?
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Obviously I love blogging as I get to write whatever I want and if you follow me on instagram you will know I’m totally obsessed with hair, but making hair videos for YouTube kinda quenches that thirst. But the whole being a published author thing just doesn’t seem to be happening and I’m now at the point where it’s like, what do I do now? Obviously I want the kids to be proud of me and I wanna do something I really love and I’m super passionate about, but what else do I love?
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I dunno, I literally sit down everyday and think OK I have a degree in not 1 but 2 things, I’ve never used it. All I’ve done is have kids and let’s face it, you don’t a degree to do that. I just kinda feel like I’m drifting in a world full of people who are living their dream and I’m just here like..blah... and being broke while feeling blah. Oooooooh like what am I actually doing. I often sit and contemplate the meaning of life.
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But the good thing about this course I’m on is that they try to empower you so that you can believe in yourself and do what you want to do and all the resources are there to help you achieve your dreams, so we’ll see I guess.... But still, what am I doing with my life...