Thursday, 5 December 2019

Learning Japanese....again...

OK so I'm leaning Japanese again for the billionth time because I totally dropped off. I was doing so well and understanding Hiragana and even recognise a tiny tiny tiny bit of Kanji and now it's a bit like huh? I was doing it everyday then for some reason I just stopped, but now I'm back at it again. I feel if I can master this language it will make life easier when I get round to learning Chinese and Korean (which are next on my list) and once I'm conversational I will then reward myself with a trip to Japan and be one of those annoying tourists who just talks unnecessarily to the locals just so they can see that I speak their language lol (even if it's somewhat dodgy) 

Although what I'm finding tough is that I don't have anyone to speak it with, I'm teaching the kids slowly so their vocab is super  limited like even more so than mine, and I tried to join this app where you can have conversations with people from around the world and they help you speak their language but I just ended up with a load of creepy guys who wanted to date me and be like 'I want to kiss you, please be my girlfriend' hahahahahahaha so obviously came off of that. Cuz I wouldn't mind the creepiness if they were actually helping in any of the languages I said I needed help in, but no just being creepy in broken English isn't fun or helpful.

Anywayz if you're actually attempting to learn Japanese let me know we can talk and help eachother  😊

Oh and here's that time when I got all smug and tried to learn 4 languages; Japanese, Mandarin, German and Spanish simultaneously, Ha! Yeah... didn't work...

Wednesday, 4 December 2019


OK so normally I have really shitty unpredictable periods but one thing that is always predictable is my craving for anything sweet. So in the run up to and during my period I will always stuff my face with sweets, but eat normally outside of that. But this month OMG I've just turned into eaty girl, I'm literally eating everything in sight and I can't stop myself because when I stop it's almost like my mouth is still chewing and salivating wanting more food inside it hahahahahahaha.

Like lastnight I ate dinner, then went back for more chicken then took another piece... then some more...bloody chickens basically done now an it was supposed to last 2 days. The made myself a sandwich with normal white bread knowing full well white bread is the devil to me. The ate off a packet of chocolate biscuits (you know them fancy ones that are rectangles and buttery and plain on one side and patterned and chocolate on the other) once again knowing chocolate and biscuits are my stomachs arch enemy and I get punished for consuming either one. Not satisfied with that I then went to get some crisps. Then went back for another ham sandwich then followed that up with some shortbread. 

I did feel completely stuffed and like shit but it's like I physically couldnt stop eating, so now I'm really concerned that I'm about to have the mother of all periods. 

Also in the meantime I've been piling on the weight lol shock horror and most of my clothes don't fit and I refuse to buy new ones cuz Ilike my old ones. OOooooooh somebody take away my food and stop me from eating!!!!

Monday, 25 November 2019

OMG it's been over year!

Yes it's actually been over a year since I blogged. I kinda lost of writing mojo (that seems to be happening to me more frequently these days) but after seeing something Sareta posted on Instagram today it inspired me to get back into blogging. I'm also hoping blogging will spark my imagination and help me get back into writing my erotic fiction again, as I really did enjoy that too.

OK... so what's been happening in the last year and a bit....? Hmmmm.... OK so I did a counsellor course and now I'm a qualified counsellor. But obviously I wanna go more into the couples and sex therapy side so I've been reading up a lot about sex and relationships and just life in general and making it better and changing your future. I've also been trying to learn Japanese (again for the billionth time) and brush up on my Spanish (yes...again...) Ooh and it was my bday last month so I'm now one more step closer to 40. Tbh I'm really looking forward to my 40th as I already know exactly what I'm doing, so I now luckily I have 3 years to save for it lol

Sooo Miss Madam has been doing really well at school and is always on some kinda sports tournament and she is the ultimate book worm I really wish I loved books as much as her. Oh and shes an anime fan and loves drawing the characters which is great as she is now hearing bits and pieces of Japanese.

RD has now turned into Mr Independant. He went from being super clingy to happily doing things by himself. He is also doing really well at school and has started really getting into sports too, although he still loves his performing arts.

One thing that hasn't changed is they're still eating me out of house and home and growing way too quickly for my liking.

OK so now we're all up to date, I'm gonna make an effort to blog often, at least once a week, maybe even more, ooooh exciting. Soooo I'm just realzing to time and I need to go do the school run so I'm gonna say bye before I ramble on. But have a lovely afternoon and make the most of those final moments of peace and quiet before the 'little angels' come home lol

Enjoy x

Thursday, 27 September 2018

Miss independent

OK so I know I normally complain about miss madam and her stink attitude and slick mouth but one thing I do admire about her is that she's never afraid to get stuck in. She will always chuck herself into a new situation without giving it a second thought. She never says she's scared and requests for me to follow her and hold her hand. She will go by herself and figure it out and doesn't want you interfering. She's very independent in that way. The one great thing is I know I never have to worry about her if she has to go away. Because with RD I'm there worrying about did he make friends if he by himself is he OK does he need me? But with Miss madam I know she just goes in and people are drawn to her and she just makes friends. She only needs me when she needs me, and she'll let me know if and when that is. My sister was saying it's a first born thing, but that's one quality I hope stays with her. So that when she finally flies the nest (whoop whoop! lol) I will be able to sleep at night and not lie awake getting grey hairs worrying about if she'd managing, because I know she will :)

Wednesday, 26 September 2018

Fresh start

So after RD was basically being bullied, profiled and targeted by teachers in his his old school to the point where it was making him depressed and sad to go to school I decided enough was enough and pulled him out. I may make a video explaining exactly what happened as it's extremely long to explain, but there were days when I'd literally have to carry him home on my back because he was so ill and weak from school he couldn't even walk. But the teachers made up a lot of lies about him then told more lies to back eachothers lies up. So I switched schools and now he's doing soo much better, all the teachers are lovely and seem genuinely happy to be teaching and are really interested in him which is great. Literally the best decision I could've made and the most important part he's loving school again.

I also moved miss madam and OMG what a change, this normally grumpy child actually smiles and waves at me before she goes in each morning (normally she has no manners and I have to shout SO YOU CAN'T SAY GOODBYE?!!). When I pick her up she has a huge smile, I get a big hug and she happily tells me all about her day and how much she loved it. If this is the start of things to come I'm really looking forward to what the future holds :)

Monday, 25 June 2018

Feeling lost.... again...


So I know Ive been away for a good while, I kinda lost my mojo for a bit. I stopped blogging and even writing stories because I just couldn't literally. It was like I lost all my creativity and imagination.
So since I've been away I've been dealing with my own little 9 year old girl version of Horrid Henry... Which let me tell you is the most fun ever... Trust me that needs a blog post all by itself. But during the times miss madam isn't being awful we do have some deep interesting convos, so the other day she was a bit sad saying 
'Mummy I don't know who I am' 
I was like you're 9 you're not supposed to, I'm 35 and I don't even know who I am. Then we laughed about it, then it made me think, actually who am I and what am I even doing with my life?
So I recently started making wigs to sell on Etsy and I worked sooo hard on it and that's all I was focused on. Then I thought hold on they're not gonna sell out in 2 seconds and make me a millionaire, unless Rihanna or Nicki Minaj start wearing my wigs. I mean if you know either of them please tell them to buy my wigs lol
So then after deep thought I decided I wanted to do teacher training and teach secondary school kids (just because after dealing with Horrid Henry everyday I think I could handle rude, moody teens and get them to learn) So I went and booked a school placement (coincidentally at my old secondary school) and looked at the funding options, which were amazing..... But wait they're only amazing if you have a 1st, 2:1 or 2:2 and what do I have.. A bloody 3rd which means I'm entitled to fuck all. No bursary, no scholarship, no nothing except for a loan and I refuse to get myself in debt again with any kinda loan. Kinda my fault because I didn't check my certificate and for 15 years I've been thinking I actually had a 2:2. I looked at all other ways of getting in and apparently a 3rd seems to mean your honours degree doesn't even exist. So yeah what a waste of 3 years for a pointless piece of paper.
I then looked into TEFL/TESOL courses so I could teach English abroad but when looking at jobs in that industry China seems to come up 95% of the time and most of the people who do these roles are young, adventurous, single 20ish year old folk. I don't know how it would work with 2 long belly kids in tow. As I'd then have to either spend real money doing Mandarin before hand so the kids are native talkers and I can enrol them in a free state school over there or spend most of my wages sending them to an international school out there, oh and lets not forget the amount of food they get through which would probably be the remainder of my wages done. So it would be a struggle.
So now I'm like OK what do I do? What do I wanna do? What do I even like? I bloody hate everything!!!!
Well not everything, I love to travel, I like hair, and personal style but I don't think I wanna go back into hairdressing, but then I don't know!!!! I'd love to work abroad but I'm seriously so lost. I feel like I'm gonna be all in my 40's chatting the same thing about what am I doing with my life, why aren't I doing something that I love. Then my kids will come along and land their dream roles because RD has already decided (a while ago) he's gonna be a bus driver, who sometimes drives coaches because he wants to drive and meet lots of new people. Even Cali has been saying she wants to be an engineer since she started engineering club at school and they're both like 
'Mummy what do you wanna be when you grow up?' 😃
And I'm still there like ummm I dunno. It's actually really frustrating and annoying but at the same time sad and depressing, like why do I still not know who I am and what I wanna do?
Oooooh why can't I just win the lottery that will solve all my problems.... It probably won't, but still lol