Wednesday, 29 June 2016

I wish I was a crafty mummy

So this meme sums up perfectly how I feel. I always see pics of mums on Instagram, Pinterest and blogs talking about all the wonderful things they made with their kids and everyone looks sooo happy. But I don't do crafts, in fact I'm shit at crafty things and making stuff and I'm shit because I have zero patience at the best of times, so throw in something that I have to concentrate on and probably work at a few times before its correct, just aint happening. But I really wanna be one of those mums because my 2 really love making things, like it makes them sooo happy and they will sit down and take their time making things. How do I know this if I don't do crafts with them you might ask? Because my mum does crafts with them and they really enjoy it.
I also have a problem with staying still and my attention span is shit (I blame uni, I dunno why but I was OK till went, so it's Universities fault!) and actually the thought of having to sit that long and make stuff just doesn't blow my skirt up. Making things is soooooo time consuming. But then I feel bad for feeling that way. I always see cute little crafty things in the Pound Shop and pick them up then just never get around to using them and then my mum ends up doing it with them. But I wanna be one of those smug mums proudly showing off this fantastic creation me and the kids made.
I think I'm more of a lets get out and explore and catch a train or plane somewhere kinda mummy which also benefits the kids but I wanna be a crafty mummmm *Spits dummy out and stomps off*
Actually, just remembered we made cookies the other day, does that count towards being crafty? Ooooh it does? Yes it does whoop whoop I can now join the crafty mums club now Please don't burst my bubble by telling me cookies aren't the same as crafts, just let me have my super mummy moment pleeeeeeeeeease!!!!

Thursday, 23 June 2016


This has to be my fav pic of my me and my sister, like we were sooo happy, and why were we happy? Because it was the 80s and life was great. Soo as my sisters 9 years older than me she helped my mum out a lot with me. She taught me how to do a lot. I remember her teaching me how to skate and ride a bike, starting me off on grass then building my confidence enough to then go on the pavement. I had a red and yellow BMX bike with no stabilisers which forced me to learn very quickly. She’s also super brainy and would always help me with my reading and read to me so by the time I started school my reading was so advanced they had to order in special books for me. I feel bad that my kids will never get to experience the joys of being an 80s baby when kids played outside, were super creative with making up games and just had a lot of freedom and fun. 

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

Finally she lost it!!

So after years of her telling everyone she had a wobbly tooth (when she didn’t) Cali finally lost her 1st front tooth. Looking at kids in her year who have lost a lot of teeth it seems like at 7 she is quite late. Even the dentist was surprised that Cali hadn’t lost any teeth on our last visit. But I kept the kids away from sweets till they started school and even now sweets are a treat that they only get on the weekend and that’s only if someones brought them sweets as I don’t buy them sweets.
Anyways Cali was sooo excited and protective over her tooth that she got really upset that the tooth fairy was gonna take it away. Like she had a proper dramatic moment as she didn’t wanna give up the tooth. So I’m there explaining to her that I would have a word with the tooth fairy and see if she would give it to me so I could keep it safe, and RD is there in the background ‘Mummy you know theres no such thing as a tooth fairy, it’s mummy who will leave the coin under your pillow’ bloody hell thank you Mr Killjoy. So after guarding it Cali eventually fell asleep.

So the next morning I’m bracing myself for a big diva tantrum over the tooth fairy actually taking her tooth, but nothing. That child is so fickle, like she was already over it, I had to remind her to look under her pillow for a coin. She didn’t care about the coin either, like she was over the whole situation and onto something else while I’m there baffled like wtf is going on?

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

No splashing in the pool!

OK so I haven’t taken the kids swimming in a while but because they were so hot yesterday I thought swimming would be a good way of cooling them down. So we went to our usual place knowing that at the time we went it wouldn’t be busy at all and we would pretty much have the pool to ourselves. So the kids love the water and were understandably extremely excited to be back in the pool. Now I noticed 2 ladies, using one lane and also a little boy having a private swimming lesson at the far end of the pool which was fine as we pretty much had the majority of the pool to ourselves as no one else was there.
So as the kids are still learning to swim RD is still at the stage where he kicks his legs back and splashes everywhere whereas Cali doesn’t kick her legs out of the water anymore (I know I’m so shit at explaining stuff but I hope you get an idea of what I mean...) OK so RD was happily paddling away and I was closer to Cali as she wanted to take her swim ring off. So we were all having fun when RD paddled back to me and was like ‘Mummy that lady told me I’m not allowed to splash,’ So I’m there assuming it must’ve been the swimming instructor, but nope, it was one of the 2 grumpy cows I saw when we 1st got in. I thought how dare you, then I could feel myself getting super pissed and knew that if I went and said something to her I wouldn’t be able to stop my mouth from running and I didn’t wanna be cussing and getting all animated in front of the kids and scare them. So I thought fine, you wanna play the ass, fine, so I took the kids to where she was and was like ‘Let’s do big splashes!’ Cali didn’t need to be told twice she started spinning in circles splashing and screaming, RD was a bit more cautious almost like he was scared of the woman and asked me ‘If I splash will she tell me off again?’ I was like ‘RD that lady doesn’t own the pool it’s for everyone and she will not do anything to you, mummy is here you don’t need to be scared ’
Now this stupid woman saw RD was with me so if she had a problem why not come to me stupid coward why make comments to a small child? RD don’t even look huge for his age he looks his age so why she would tell a 6 year old not to splash in a pool is beyond me. On top of that she was pregnant which pissed me off even more like you idiot you’re gonna be a mum soon and you’re here complaining about children when your child is gonna do the exact same thing in a swimming pool. Also someone splashing you is not gonna harm your baby, I used to go swimming all the time when I was pregnant with Cali, so who knows what her beef was. So after we finished splashing and the kids went back to paddling up and down the pool I just gave her the death glare till she got out the pool.
How the ass do you go to a pool and tell people not to splash? Actually not even grown people, a 6 year old child. Umm it’s a swimming pool most people do splash. I mean I’ve been abroad during the high season without the kids and been in the pool and on the beach when it’s been full of kids jumping, diving and splashing and not once did it ever cross my mind to complain and tell them not to splash around me, OMG like get a life!! I was telling my cousin and she was saying ‘It’s like being in a restaurant and telling people not to eat food’ which is very true. I could understand if my 2 were older and splashing with force and doing cannon balls in the middle of people and throwing balls and bumping into her and being a nuisance, but they’re simply trying to swim, fuck sake. Like if you don’t wanna be splashed your uptight ass needs to save your pennies and get a private pool installed in your yard. Don’t go to public pools clearly they’re not for you!!