Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Stupid stomach!

Sometimes I wish I could just start all over again with a new stomach. I don’t want my stupid stomach anymore. It’s not just because it’s fat and wobbly, constantly bloated and doesn’t seem to wanna get smaller, it’s the pain. Obviously you guys know I have IBS and how it started, but since the Easter holidays it’s gotten worse. I’m assuming the stress of having 2 hardears hyper kids with me literally 24/7 with no help during that time probably didn’t help my situation. It’s been sooo painful. I’ve been getting random attacks like out of the blue. Like yesterday for example, I was completely fine so made my way to my tap class, I sat on the bus waiting to leave then all of a sudden my stomach didn’t feel right. It then went from not feeling right to bubbling and crippling pain. I literally had to run off the bus and to the closest toilet.
...........
Now I normally don’t give 2 shits about what the world thinks of me, but having these kinda problems and literally being trapped in a public toilet where people pretty much know what you’re doing is soooo embarrassing. I hate it and because I’m so self conscious about it, that just makes my stomach worse. Needless to say I didn’t make my class and felt like I did a tour of various toilets before I was even able to jump on a bus back home.
Then once home I had to just eat dry foods... Mmmm.... my fav... NOT! But it’s just such a hassle that whenever I’m feeling good about myself and not having big stomach problems that it starts hurting and fucks everything up for me. Then I end up having to cancel plans for things I was really looking forward to.
...........
I wish I had a normal stomach that wasn’t so sensitive to every bloody thing. It feels like this stupid stomach is ruining my life! I know it sounds dramatic, but if you have severe IBS you will know what a pain it is. It’s actually stressful and depressing and annoyingly stress and depression are 2 things (out of like a billion) that cause my stomach to act up. Basically, I can’t fucking win!

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Big boob problems...

So I’ve always had kinda big boobs, which have since grown after I piled on the weight. Now that I’m slowly (and I mean very slowly, like far too slow for my liking) losing the weight my boobs didn’t seem to get the memo and have continued growing. I mean, not that I’m complaining, I love big boobs, but, the one thing I’m now noticing is the lack of cute bras in my size. Now if I was a D Cup or below I could even go Primark and get a pretty girly bra and knickers set at a good price with no problems. But now that I’m an H cup I’m finding less choice and the pretty bras I have seen are soooo bloody expensive! I’ve seen lots of sales in online bra shop but when I go to check it out either my size mysteriously isn’t in the sale or in some cases is double the price of the A-C Cup.
...........
Also because I’ve been a 36F for years, I never noticed that once you go past a G Cup there’s even less choice than the DD-G range. Seriously finding a bra in H or above is like gold dust. I got so frustrated about not finding anything I liked that I actually cried... Don’t laugh I was on my period hahahahaha. Saying that I did find some beautiful bras on Bravissimo, but OMG they’re so bloody expensive, like an average of £30, and as I needed 2/3 bras I just couldn’t justify spending up to £90 on bras. That’s just ridiculous!
...........
Also another thing I noticed is apparently just because I have big boobs I can’t possibly want/need a padded or push up bra. Like why not? Do I not wanna look sexy too and have my boobs pushed up? (As opposed to round my ankles) Like I hardly saw any padded bras in my size, it’s so stupid!!
Anywayz eventually I found 2 bras in the ‘sale’ on Brastop, They’re both Curvy Kate ones too which I love as they make fab bras that fit me really well. But although the bras are OK (I managed to find 1 padded one too) they’re not the kinda colour/print I’d normally get. Like I love love love balconette bras as they make my boobs look amazing, seriously if you don’t normally wear balconette bras you should try, but, I wish there was more choice of prints and colours.
...........
Also why do these shops assume women with big boobs are rich? Like why do you think we have more money than the ladies with smaller boobs. Why do you assume big boobs equals wealth? I wish that was true. Like why do I have to pay more? It’s like you’re charging me for the hassle of you having to use more material to make the bra. It actually really pisses me off! Why can’t there be an affordable variety of bras, why am I getting punished for my big boobs?! What’s next paying extra council tax for boobs over a G Cup?!
...........

Aaaaaargh soo frustrated!!! But on a side note if any of my big boob readers have found any shops that sell really cute affordable bras please please please let me know x