Monday, 21 November 2016

Completely new child!!

Its amazing how one huge thing that you would think would have a negative impact on your kids can work in the total opposite way.
So for years I’ve been having problems with Cali, she’s not necessarily naughty and hard ears like RD but she is spiteful, rude, grumpy, disrespectful, abrupt, and snappy and loves to backchat and ignore people who are talking to her. She also loved to purposely do stuff to get her brother in trouble (as he loves to follow her) and sit back and watch the carnage. She showed no affection (apart from to her best friend at school) family always have to beg her for a kiss or cuddle. She also hated smiling and just wasn’t a happy child. To be honest she was a horrible little shit and I hated it. I know it sounds bad but I actually didn’t like being around her as it just took all my energy as she was such a negative ball of energy.
Like I was so frustrated, I’d tried so many things and been on so many parenting courses and nothing had helped. I know she inherited her shitty attitude problem and spitefulness from her dad as he is a horrible spiteful person (amongst other things) and she was just like him in a sense. After talking to professionals and having her observed in class, I just settled on the fact that it was a nasty trait that she may just live with until one of her peer’s pulls her up on it.
People told me to pray for her as the power of prayer is an amazing thing... if you believe.... and although I’m not a religious person, I prayed for her every night and never stopped trying with her.
OK so the big change I mentioned in the beginning is that the kid’s dad hasn’t been in their life for the past few months now. There’s been no contact at all and I’ve never seen Cali and RD so content before, especially Cali. Since she hasn’t seen her dad she has been the happiest child, like seriously I didn’t even know she could be this way. Like everyday she wakes up happy. She’s soooo loving, I get hugs and kisses all the time and the attitude has gone, along with the constant sarcasm and spitefulness. She even talks differently, like in a more cheerful tone and no longer ignores people and will actually acknowledge them and say ‘Hi’ which is a big deal. She also apologises when she’s done something wrong and actually means it.
If I’m tired she’s right there making sure I’m ok or she will make me sit down and bring me a drink or something, whereas before she would just sit and watch people suffer. Her relationship has changed with RD too it’s like she finally realizes she is his big sister and now looks out for him and shows him a lot of love and RD loves kisses and hugs so he’s in his element. She’s even decided she doesn’t wanna be known as the nickname we used to call her as she said that little girl wasn’t nice and she’s not that little girl anymore which I thought was very mature of her.

So most people (including me) would think an absent father would make problems worse but in this case it seems to be the best thing that could’ve happened. So it makes me wonder, all this time was it actually their dad who was the problem? But if my kids are the happiest I’ve ever seen them, then I’m glad it worked out this way.

Sunday, 20 November 2016

Go away stupid vertigo!

So my body clock has been completely fucked for a while now, so for the past 6 months minimum I’ve been surviving on 3ish hours sleep per night. Now when I’m run down and about to get really sick my glands normally swell. So I had that and continued to still feel ill. I knew something else was gonna happen as I’ve been forgetting to take my iron tablets and I know I get anaemic very quick, so when I started to feel what I could only describe as morning sickness I knew something was really wrong. 
Obviously I knew there was no way I could be preggers, so when I found out it was vertigo I remembered this was exactly the same way I felt a couple years ago when I first had vertigo. I felt like I was drunk yet hungover at the same time, my head felt like it was shaking internally and I was continuously dizzy and the room keeps spinning. This gets worse at night when I try to sleep, it’s like WOOOAH! Then it takes forever to get out of bed because as soon as I sit up in the morning, no matter how slowly I do it, the whole room spins.

Basically I just need to sleep/rest/take it easy because that’s the only thing that’s gonna make this shitty vertigo go away. It’s like fuck sake, does anything else wanna go wrong with my body?!

Friday, 18 November 2016

Quick trip to Toronto

So last month me and the kids did a short trip to Canada. Everyone couldn’t believe that we would fly all the way over there just for a long weekend, but we were going to a wedding so we didn’t really need any longer, plus the kids had school and I didn’t want them off too long and have the attendance lady whinging in my ear. 

So we flew from Heathrow terminal 5 which is huge! I’ve been there before but never flown from there, in fact I can’t remember the last time I actually flew from Heathrow. The thing I loved most about this terminal is the fact that there is so much space you don’t feel squashed in which is perfect for someone like me who is extremely claustrophobic.

Another thing I loved was the kids play area, my 2 spotted it straight away. There’s a giant snakes and ladders game on the floor as well as two big touch screen TVs with lots of fun kids games. It kept my two occupied while I rearranged the suitcase.
As we walked to check in a member of staff spotted us and told me to go to the family check in where there was no queue, which was brilliant!
OK so the one thing I hated about terminal 5 was the queue in security. Obviously I got stopped for extra checks and they only had 1 lady doing those checks so I had to wait a good 40mins to be seen, without my shoes (as they kept them) I could feel the cold through my socks and I hate that feeling, it gives me a stomach ache.

OK so their duty free section was pretty big, but I didn’t bother going in shops we went straight to a Wetherspoons and got some brunch. We then went to the multi faith room, which is something I’ve never done before. RD really believes in the power of prayer and wanted us to all say a prayer together to keep us safe on the plane which I thought was very sweet. But what I found strange was although it welcomes all faiths, it felt more like a mini mosque and felt like we shouldn’t have been in there with our shoes and without covering up. Even the kids were a bit apprehensive as they thought it was a mosque too and keep asking if the Muslims would mind us being in there. I had to explain it’s not just for the Muslims it’s for anyone who wants to say a prayer or reflect.

So after walking forever then getting a transit over to our gate we finally boarded the plane. Now I don’t usually like flying with British Airways but we were sat next to a stag party, so they kept us entertained for the whole flight, it was brilliant. Also because they were constantly asking for drinks I managed to get lots of wine too which was fun J

So anyways after getting into Canada we caught this huge train downtown and just needed to get a taxi to our hotel. Simple task right? Wrong! Apparently this isn’t an easy task when you’re black. Every taxi we stopped (baring in mind we were at a taxi stand) refused to take us and rolled up their windows and drove off or further down and picked up white people. It got to the point where I was ready to ask a random white person to get a cab for us. Sooo stupid, even more bizarre the taxi drivers were all Asian yet didn’t want people the same complexion as them in their taxi, what bell ends!

So we stayed at the Hilton in downtown Toronto on the 17th floor which meant I was forced to go in the lift, boo!

So the day after landing we went to my cousins wedding which was beautiful. It even got to the point where I had to take off my heels and have a good dance.

We also took the day to explore downtown Toronto which was cool. One bizarre thing I noticed is the homeless folk there just like to randomly lay in the middle of the pavement for you to trip over them, it was sooo weird.

We also saw some huge marathon which resulted in most of the roads being closed. It was lovely to see how the Canadians were all out supporting the runners and shouting out compliments and words of encouragement. Even RD got in on the act and stood by the rails shouting nice things at people running past which was really sweet.

OK so coming back home I wasn’t overly impressed with the duty free section at Toronto’s Pearson airport, there wasn’t a wide range of places to eat, which was annoying as I was bloody starving! I then got asked 1 of the dumbest questions ever going through security (click here to see the video) so by the time we got on the plane I just wanted to eat and sleep and that’s exactly what I did J

Once we landed we had time to spare as the Heathrow coach is pretty frequent so we went to get some breakfast, obviously I had my mandatory Mimosa and the kids ordered really specific things that weren't on the menu, but luckily the lady serving us just accommodated their crazy demands and everybody was happy.

Friday, 11 November 2016

Cropover 2016 - Kadooment

So my cousin and I were on the road with Colorz for Kadooment,it was sooooo much fun. This was not only our first time but also Colorz first time on the road as a kadooment band (as they usually are solely a foreday morning band) so I’m glad I got to experience that.

Thursday, 22 September 2016

Cropover 2016 - Dis is Rick

Source: Strictly Babbzy
Now you can’t go to Barbados for Cropover and not go to the Dis is Rick show, which normally takes place on the Saturday before carnival. Now don’t let the fact that the event takes place in a car park put you off, it’s like a proper show with security and gates etc. Similarly as it is in a car park make sure you wear super comfy shoes, preferably waterproof as the 2 years I have gone it has always pissed down. But the rain doesn’t stop the party. Lil Rick always puts on a good show and literally brings the who’s who of the Bajan Soca scene so you will see a lot of artists and learn all the songs that will be getting rinsed all through the Cropover period. So if you don’t know who Lil Rick is he’s a very hyper well known Soca artist from Barbados so expect to wuck up hard (if you can’t wuck up or wine just jump and wave a flag) and sweat your tits off. It goes on till crazy hours of the morning so definitely build up your stamina (or take a power nap) before you go.

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Cropover 2016 - South Gap Hotel

 So I stayed at South Gap again. It’s a lovely non pretentious hotel right in the middle of all the action of the very lively St Lawrence Gap. Now I normally do luxury all inclusive when I travel with the kids but I think this is a fab base for when you are travelling with adults or maybe older kids.
Now as the hotel is in the middle of the action expect the area to be very lively and full of noise and excitement especially during the crop over season. Now I’ve read reviews where people have complained about the noise but that can easily be solved by requesting a room on the same level as reception as your room door is inside the building as opposed to upstairs which have doors facing onto St Lawrence Gap (if that makes sense) My cousin and I stayed in room 112 and heard no real noise apart from the waves if we had the balcony door open and lets face it who doesn’t like the sound of waves gently washing into the shore. OMG actually no there was noise, a group of Americans just wouldn’t shut up and they were on either side of us... Oh the joys....

Aside from that our room was lovely and clean and had everything you would need for a comfortable self catering stay (If you watch my Cropover video you can see a walk through of my room) But theres obviously a full sized fridge, hobs, a microwave, a/c, cable TV and enough storage room for 2 fashionistas with like a billion outfits. Oh, and theres also a balcony with the most amazing sea views.

They also have a little bar and restaurant by the pool which has completely improved since last year. Like a completely new atmosphere and vibe. We enjoyed the 1st rum punch of stay there, which was yummy.
Also with the hotel being in St Lawrence Gap you are never short of things to do, but if you wanna venture out a bit the bus stop is maybe 5 mins walk up the road. Similarly if you wanna alternate between cooking yourself and going to St Gaps restaurant or you get home from a night out and the restaurant is closed there are food vendors just outside the hotel in the evenings where you can get anything from a simple burger to Macraroni cheese. There is also a cashpoint in the hotel Car Park.
Although South Gap doesn’t have direct access to the beach, just a short walk up the road and you’re there anyways or you could just hop on a ZR and check out some other beaches on the island. As I always say don’t forget to walk with the 2 essentials; Water and Rum punch :)
I know I said this before in my previous review of this hotel but one of the main reasons I love this hotel is the staff, they’re all lovely and friendly and helpful. From the cleaners to management they all just make you feel at home and I can’t wait to go back. 

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Cropover 2016 - Virgin do you wanna squeeze any more seats in economy?!

So we were in row 51 which was more or less at the back of the plane where seats have funny configurations and OMG was it the most cramped and uncomfortable flight ever. It honestly felt that Virgin had crammed loads of extra rows of seats in so leg room was a joke. I've never felt so squashed on a virgin flight in my life and I fly with them all the time. I was scared to go to sleep for too long as I felt my legs would really cease up if I didn't get up and walk every 10 seconds it was mad. Also for some reason because I was so awkward it gave me the worse wind ever, I dunno if you've ever had wind on a flight, for some reason, I dunno if its the altitude or pressure, but it doesn't come out, so my stomach ballooned, it was so bloated and painful I just wanted to land so I could do one giant fart and feel better hahahahahaha
So as always the cabin crew were lovely and chatty and friendly but the food was sooo random almost like acquired taste food, I was sooo baffled. But annoyingly still had to eat it so I didn't get wind on top of wind. The films choice was really good I got in a few good movies (between sleeping) The latest Barbershop with Ice Cube was the best, it had such a relevant message too also How to Be Single was hilarious and actually had me laughing out loud on the plane.
It was a pretty smooth flight actually with no turbulence but the seating and space situation had me like OMG I can't wait to land and get off this bloody plane. Like Virgin why did you do that? I'm not even tall and didn't have enough leg space. Next time don't squeeze in extra seats just fly a bigger plane like you used to. Because I'm sure it used to be a 747 now it's an Airbus something which to me is dinky.

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

Cropover 2016 - Gatwick South Terminal my fav :)

 So after meeting up with my gorgeous cousin who managed to have hair even bigger than mine (was slightly jealous lol) we did a bag drop as we had already done an online check in, tried to get a free upgrade (didn't work) then went straight through to duty free to get some breakfast. Obviously I had to get checked a billion times in security and take off everything, which I'm now used to. They actually now have this new machine it's like a standing capsule and u walk inside and something swishes around you (and then beeps a lot if ur me) then you have to take off something else then go back through again and again...  Oh also another piece of advice (as I wasn't aware of this) all your liquids and makeup HAVE to fit in ONE see through bag. Mine didn't so then I got stopped again and had to put some of my stuff in my cousins bag, which i found stupid and pointless as I just took them straight back out once we passed security.
Anywayz breakfast time, I went to my fav place, The Flying Horse and had my usual full English with a glass of wine. As always breakfast was yummy and didn't run my belly and helped to wake me up too.
Then we had to stop at MAC, where I surprised myself by only getting 1 lipstick Antique Velvet and no trip to duty free would be complete without me getting my beloved Eight Hour cream. Then it was off to the plane. We sorta kinda had to power walk, because we left it till the last minute, shock horror lol and the plane was at like gate 10 billion, it felt like we had walked to France! 

Monday, 15 August 2016

Cropover 2016 - Shit missed my coach

OK so normally I get the National Express coach to Gatwick airport with no problems, but, bloody National Express decided to move the coach stand to a totally remote and awkward to get to part of town. Needless to say I missed it then had to end up coming back into the town centre to catch a train. Now the last time I caught a train to Gatwick was maybe when I was around 10 when a big group of us went on a family hol to Portugal so I don't really remember how the ride was or what to expect. So, I dropped to sleep and was scared out of my sleep by the bloody train inspector guy asking for my ticket, obviously I never had one as I had to rush for the train, so ended up buying a ticket and kicking myself that for some reason I didn't walk with my rail card to get a discount. I also wondered why he even bothered as it was like 4am and I knew the barriers would be up at Gatwick.
Anywayz fell asleep again and struggled to open my eyes at a station called Redbridge or Redhill and really couldn't think where I was. Then, the train started going back on itself OMG you know when something scares you out of your sleep and its like you're fighting something and have legs and arms flailing, yep that was me. I was like Shit I missed my stop now we're going back to Reading. So this older white guy opposite me found my reaction hilarious and between laughing at me reassured me that this was the normal route and the plane was still going to Gatwick.
After that I was scared to go back to sleep so probably looked like some crackhead with my eyes propped open watching everything to make sure I didn't miss the stop. Although I now prefer trains I felt I wasn't as comfortable dropping into a deep sleep (although I did, don't judge me I was knackered) as there was so much stops along the way and although someone would have a job trying to teef my suitcase I was still concerned, whereas when you're on the coach you have peace of mind that your luggauge is safe in the bottom of the coach and no one is getting off or moving till the 1st stop at Heathrow.
Anywayz as I walked through the practically empty Gatwick train station just as I suspected the barriers were up so I didn't even need a bloody ticket, Grrrrrrrr!

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Why don't we use our real names?

So if you are from the Caribbean or know anyone from there you will know that most people have nicknames that stick so you grow up thinking that's their actual name. I didn't even know my own sisters real name till I was at Primary school. I remember going into her Saturday job with my mum and asking the manager for her and the manager looking at me baffled like who the hell is that? Then my mum called some next name and the manager went and got her. In the meantime I'm there baffled like where did this new name come from? I didn't realise the family had always called my sister by a shortened version of her middle name. All now I've never called her by her actual name and nor have my kids so I'm sure they will just as baffled when I explain what her actual name is. We also call my youngest auntie by her middle name and once again I was baffled when I used to hear people calling her real name.

My dads side is even more confusing as none of my aunties are called by their real names. I didn't actually learn their real names till an uncle died when I was a lot older. Also their nicknames aren't even a version of their middle name like my mums side so there's names like auntie Baby and auntie Dolly. I mean it's quite creative and a good way to protect your identity I guess but I wonder why Caribbean people have so many names. It's not even like it's just the elders who do it as we all do it with Cali, she has a double baralled 1st name and none of the family calls her any of those names.

Also then you have the evil nicknames that you didn't want but you ate too much as a child and was kinda chubby and the nickname Fat Child stuck with you all through your adult life hahahaha Oooh then you have the unexplained nicknames which make you think how and where did that come from? Like my late grandad was called Chesterfield but everyone called him Joe and I'm pretty sure Joe wasn't even his middle name lol

It would be interesting to see if other cultures do this

Thursday, 7 July 2016

But do all lives really matter though..?

So after watching Jesse Williams very powerful speech at the BET awards and the increase in police killing black people in the US and people in the UK coming forward to tell stories of racist abuse they have suffered over here (especially since we voted out of the EU) it got me thinking about the 90s when racism was just standard. Now I should add racism was a lot worse waaay before I was even born, but since I’ve been alive the 90s was the worst era for racism for me. Now I’ve also seen a lot of comments of people complaining that all lives matter and not just black lives and are baffled as to why black people are so affected by all this shit that’s happening. It’s because most of us have suffered some form of racism and hate in our lives. So before you go and sign that petition to get Jesse fired from Greys Anatomy for his 'racist speech'  I want you to  see what we have to go through from a young age and why #BlackLivesMatter
Here is the speech, please listen very carefully to what he is saying as there is a lot of facts in there:
Just so you get exactly what Jesse is saying, I'm gonna tell you two stories of memorable times I’ve suffered racism.

At primary school, I was around 7 or 8 and this scruffy little blonde boy at school called me a stupid nigger and kicked my hand so hard it broke my finger. So as most people who grew up on an estate, black and white, you are taught that if someone hits you, you hit them back 10 times harder. So I beat him, and guess who got in trouble... me! Although I told my teacher what he called me and what he did, apparently beating someone for attacking you and being racist makes you the criminal, how ironic....  Which just goes to show how racism and stuff like that was norm in the 90s so wasn’t taken seriously until the black kids reacted to it. I remember actually running out of school to my mums workplace (she only worked 5 mins away) and she had to leave work and come to school and sort it.
Now although I was around 7 or 8 I was very aware of racism from a very young age and would ask a lot of questions so knew what words were totally unacceptable and I should tell my mum if a white person called me it.  Now imagine that, instead of being a carefree little girl I’m being exposed to a lot of stuff that a lot of non black people may not realize until they’re a lot older. Even now I’m very weary of going to unfamiliar places and being the only black person as I straight away start to think why are there no black people? Am I not welcome here? I’m like this with pubs for that same reason. Even certain countries will never see my black ass because of what I see and know about them.
OK 2nd story, I was a lot younger like maybe 5ish. So my mum always used to work in the community at clubs or family centres. So this particular time she was working at some kinda family centre and obviously I came along with her. I was happily playing with this little white boy who was around my age. I remember we went outside to play and a group of white boys who were older started being racist pricks and calling me the usual ‘Nigger’ and saying how they were gonna beat me up because I was black. So as anyone in my fam or even my school friends will tell you I’ve always been gobby and not afraid to stand up for myself so obviously I told them a few words and went back to playing with my little friend. Now although I was quite young, as I mentioned previously I knew what racism was as I had encountered it before (yep I’d encountered racism before 5, pretty fucked up huh?) So they obviously didn’t like the fact that I had something to say and the same group of boys started following us around taunting me with racist comments.
So anyway the little white boy I was with knew these boys (I’m sure one was his brother or something bizarre) and wasn’t amused at all and kinda went for them. So there was a little scuffle and he told them to leave me alone and that he was my friend. Then after that he was like my little security guard, we were like joined at the hip. My mum actually has a pic of us two together, I should go dig it out.
What I find amazing is that from that young age this little white boy knew that racism was wrong; particularly the word nigger as he told them not to call me that, yet his brother didn’t. So for people who were around in the early 90s and suffered racism, watching everything that’s happening around the world now is very worrying. It’s even worse for me because I have a son and know that black boys/men are a target and am scared of how much worse it will get for them as they grow up. It also makes me sad that my 7 year old noticed how black people are treated and has been asking me questions since she was 4. I remember her even saying to me ‘Mummy I wish I was white because life is easier for them’ do you know how heart breaking that is when your little girl comes out with something like that. I remember actually having a word with her reception teacher after Cali came home repeating some racist bollocks some child had said to her. I mean she notices a lot and will ask me about it, RD doesn’t notice and hasn’t experienced anything yet. But why should my kids have to grow up forever watching their back and being judged, attacked and treated like shit just because of their skin colour. Why do they have to work 10 times harder to achieve the same position as a white person. I remember at school the teachers trying to make all the black kids take the foundation GCSE paper so that no matter how good you did you would never get above a C/D and then set you up for failure when your shit grades can’t get you in a good college or get a decent job. Obviously I kicked up a big fuss so I sat all the higher papers as I refused to do foundation level when I was in all the highest classes at school.
Now this post isn’t an attack on white people because I know there’s a lot of white people who get what I’m saying and have seen how black people are treated and are disgusted by it. There’s also white people who will happily do big demonstrations in London about these kinda issues and genuinely care about equality for black people, although they will never know how it feels to walk a mile in our shoes. But I’m just trying to show you that although all human lives matter, you need to realize that black lives do matter and that they matter just as much as any other race. It is also black people who are getting killed off like it’s some fun video game without absolutely no consequences. So you need to realize when we are being pro black and outraged and posting certain things it doesn’t mean we have a chip on our shoulders, although technically we do as we have been carrying the weight of the world forever, it just means that we’ve had enough. Being pro black also doesn’t mean we are racist and don’t love white people, it just means we love ourselves enough to stand together and try to make a change that will benefit everyone.


Wednesday, 29 June 2016

I wish I was a crafty mummy

So this meme sums up perfectly how I feel. I always see pics of mums on Instagram, Pinterest and blogs talking about all the wonderful things they made with their kids and everyone looks sooo happy. But I don't do crafts, in fact I'm shit at crafty things and making stuff and I'm shit because I have zero patience at the best of times, so throw in something that I have to concentrate on and probably work at a few times before its correct, just aint happening. But I really wanna be one of those mums because my 2 really love making things, like it makes them sooo happy and they will sit down and take their time making things. How do I know this if I don't do crafts with them you might ask? Because my mum does crafts with them and they really enjoy it.
I also have a problem with staying still and my attention span is shit (I blame uni, I dunno why but I was OK till went, so it's Universities fault!) and actually the thought of having to sit that long and make stuff just doesn't blow my skirt up. Making things is soooooo time consuming. But then I feel bad for feeling that way. I always see cute little crafty things in the Pound Shop and pick them up then just never get around to using them and then my mum ends up doing it with them. But I wanna be one of those smug mums proudly showing off this fantastic creation me and the kids made.
I think I'm more of a lets get out and explore and catch a train or plane somewhere kinda mummy which also benefits the kids but I wanna be a crafty mummmm *Spits dummy out and stomps off*
Actually, just remembered we made cookies the other day, does that count towards being crafty? Ooooh it does? Yes it does whoop whoop I can now join the crafty mums club now Please don't burst my bubble by telling me cookies aren't the same as crafts, just let me have my super mummy moment pleeeeeeeeeease!!!!

Thursday, 23 June 2016


This has to be my fav pic of my me and my sister, like we were sooo happy, and why were we happy? Because it was the 80s and life was great. Soo as my sisters 9 years older than me she helped my mum out a lot with me. She taught me how to do a lot. I remember her teaching me how to skate and ride a bike, starting me off on grass then building my confidence enough to then go on the pavement. I had a red and yellow BMX bike with no stabilisers which forced me to learn very quickly. She’s also super brainy and would always help me with my reading and read to me so by the time I started school my reading was so advanced they had to order in special books for me. I feel bad that my kids will never get to experience the joys of being an 80s baby when kids played outside, were super creative with making up games and just had a lot of freedom and fun. 

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

Finally she lost it!!

So after years of her telling everyone she had a wobbly tooth (when she didn’t) Cali finally lost her 1st front tooth. Looking at kids in her year who have lost a lot of teeth it seems like at 7 she is quite late. Even the dentist was surprised that Cali hadn’t lost any teeth on our last visit. But I kept the kids away from sweets till they started school and even now sweets are a treat that they only get on the weekend and that’s only if someones brought them sweets as I don’t buy them sweets.
Anyways Cali was sooo excited and protective over her tooth that she got really upset that the tooth fairy was gonna take it away. Like she had a proper dramatic moment as she didn’t wanna give up the tooth. So I’m there explaining to her that I would have a word with the tooth fairy and see if she would give it to me so I could keep it safe, and RD is there in the background ‘Mummy you know theres no such thing as a tooth fairy, it’s mummy who will leave the coin under your pillow’ bloody hell thank you Mr Killjoy. So after guarding it Cali eventually fell asleep.

So the next morning I’m bracing myself for a big diva tantrum over the tooth fairy actually taking her tooth, but nothing. That child is so fickle, like she was already over it, I had to remind her to look under her pillow for a coin. She didn’t care about the coin either, like she was over the whole situation and onto something else while I’m there baffled like wtf is going on?

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

No splashing in the pool!

OK so I haven’t taken the kids swimming in a while but because they were so hot yesterday I thought swimming would be a good way of cooling them down. So we went to our usual place knowing that at the time we went it wouldn’t be busy at all and we would pretty much have the pool to ourselves. So the kids love the water and were understandably extremely excited to be back in the pool. Now I noticed 2 ladies, using one lane and also a little boy having a private swimming lesson at the far end of the pool which was fine as we pretty much had the majority of the pool to ourselves as no one else was there.
So as the kids are still learning to swim RD is still at the stage where he kicks his legs back and splashes everywhere whereas Cali doesn’t kick her legs out of the water anymore (I know I’m so shit at explaining stuff but I hope you get an idea of what I mean...) OK so RD was happily paddling away and I was closer to Cali as she wanted to take her swim ring off. So we were all having fun when RD paddled back to me and was like ‘Mummy that lady told me I’m not allowed to splash,’ So I’m there assuming it must’ve been the swimming instructor, but nope, it was one of the 2 grumpy cows I saw when we 1st got in. I thought how dare you, then I could feel myself getting super pissed and knew that if I went and said something to her I wouldn’t be able to stop my mouth from running and I didn’t wanna be cussing and getting all animated in front of the kids and scare them. So I thought fine, you wanna play the ass, fine, so I took the kids to where she was and was like ‘Let’s do big splashes!’ Cali didn’t need to be told twice she started spinning in circles splashing and screaming, RD was a bit more cautious almost like he was scared of the woman and asked me ‘If I splash will she tell me off again?’ I was like ‘RD that lady doesn’t own the pool it’s for everyone and she will not do anything to you, mummy is here you don’t need to be scared ’
Now this stupid woman saw RD was with me so if she had a problem why not come to me stupid coward why make comments to a small child? RD don’t even look huge for his age he looks his age so why she would tell a 6 year old not to splash in a pool is beyond me. On top of that she was pregnant which pissed me off even more like you idiot you’re gonna be a mum soon and you’re here complaining about children when your child is gonna do the exact same thing in a swimming pool. Also someone splashing you is not gonna harm your baby, I used to go swimming all the time when I was pregnant with Cali, so who knows what her beef was. So after we finished splashing and the kids went back to paddling up and down the pool I just gave her the death glare till she got out the pool.
How the ass do you go to a pool and tell people not to splash? Actually not even grown people, a 6 year old child. Umm it’s a swimming pool most people do splash. I mean I’ve been abroad during the high season without the kids and been in the pool and on the beach when it’s been full of kids jumping, diving and splashing and not once did it ever cross my mind to complain and tell them not to splash around me, OMG like get a life!! I was telling my cousin and she was saying ‘It’s like being in a restaurant and telling people not to eat food’ which is very true. I could understand if my 2 were older and splashing with force and doing cannon balls in the middle of people and throwing balls and bumping into her and being a nuisance, but they’re simply trying to swim, fuck sake. Like if you don’t wanna be splashed your uptight ass needs to save your pennies and get a private pool installed in your yard. Don’t go to public pools clearly they’re not for you!!

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Ooooh so that's why she's so clumsy...

So Cali is like super clumsy and is forever falling and tripping over things that are right in front of her. Now I know she's always been one of those kids tumbling over somewhere but after she had her adenoids and tonsils removed and grommets put in that was supposed to help improve her balance, but she's still all over the place. So as I had recently gone for a well overdue eye test I thought I'd take the kids to their first eye test. I thought that if her eyes were fine then I'd take her doctors again as the ENT doctor did say to inform them if her clumsiness gets worse. 
Both of them actually did really well in their tests and did exactly as they were told and the staff at Specsavers were brilliant and very child friendly. OK so somehow Cali managed to break that little plastic thing you cover your eye with before you read the letters. Now RD read the letters perfectly but I noticed Cali was reading the smaller letters perfectly and the larger letters wrong. So it wasn't a huge shock when the optician said that she was long sighted and would need glasses.
So that explains why she's always falling over things right in front of her face, because she literally cant see them. Yet she can see things in the distance. So she got to pick out 2 pairs of glasses and I made sure I boosted her confidence and told her how beautiful she looked in them just in case anyone was horrible or made fun of her at school (because we all know how kids can be sometimes) I also told her dad to call and reassure her of how great she looked in her glasses.
As a lot of my family wear glasses and are short sighted I was concerned she would wear glasses forever (because I know she likes to lose things so that could potentially get very expensive) but the opticians said as she's long sighted and young and the prescription is quite weak that there's a possibility that her eyesight can correct itself and told me to make sure she doesn't wear them all day as she only needs them like reading glasses, so basically just at school and when she does her homework here. 
Also luckily she got on well with them
at school I think because they were Avengers glasses everyone thought they were cool. 

Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Over the water bungalows finally come to the Caribbean whoop whoop!

So normally you see cute little beach huts in places like The Maldives and Bali, where you basically have your very own luxury oasis in the middle of the ocean. But strangely you don't ever see it in the Caribbean, which is full of beaches and amazing places to put them. But Sandals are now looking to change this as they are planning to open 5 over the water bungalows on the private offshore island at its Royal Caribbean Resort in Jamaica.
Now I've been past this resort (baring in mind this was years ago during my uni days) and was really impressed that the hotel had it's own private island as well as swim up lagoon suites. So these over the water bungalows  will be the perfect addition to an already super luxurious hotel. This will also be the 1st of it's kind in the Caribbean.
As you'd expect, these bungalows have everything in them so you won't even wanna leave; including a private outdoor jacuzzi tub and shower, a hammock for 2 that hangs over the water and steps leading from the sundeck straight into the ocean. They even feature glass floors so that you can enjoy the beauty of the ocean without even having to step foot outside. So as the kids wont be there you can get in lots of 'sexy time' *raises eyebrows while doing creepy laugh* Ooh nearly forgot you also get your own butler... very fancy :) 
They do look gorgeous though, a fabulous getaway for you and your other half... which means I won't be going anytime soon... Well, actually it's not accepting bookings till November so I guess there's still time to find someone... *crickets*
So... to my future boyfriend, I'd like our 1st date to be here please, we might as well start as we mean to go on :)

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Stupid stomach!

Sometimes I wish I could just start all over again with a new stomach. I don’t want my stupid stomach anymore. It’s not just because it’s fat and wobbly, constantly bloated and doesn’t seem to wanna get smaller, it’s the pain. Obviously you guys know I have IBS and how it started, but since the Easter holidays it’s gotten worse. I’m assuming the stress of having 2 hardears hyper kids with me literally 24/7 with no help during that time probably didn’t help my situation. It’s been sooo painful. I’ve been getting random attacks like out of the blue. Like yesterday for example, I was completely fine so made my way to my tap class, I sat on the bus waiting to leave then all of a sudden my stomach didn’t feel right. It then went from not feeling right to bubbling and crippling pain. I literally had to run off the bus and to the closest toilet.
Now I normally don’t give 2 shits about what the world thinks of me, but having these kinda problems and literally being trapped in a public toilet where people pretty much know what you’re doing is soooo embarrassing. I hate it and because I’m so self conscious about it, that just makes my stomach worse. Needless to say I didn’t make my class and felt like I did a tour of various toilets before I was even able to jump on a bus back home.
Then once home I had to just eat dry foods... Mmmm.... my fav... NOT! But it’s just such a hassle that whenever I’m feeling good about myself and not having big stomach problems that it starts hurting and fucks everything up for me. Then I end up having to cancel plans for things I was really looking forward to.
I wish I had a normal stomach that wasn’t so sensitive to every bloody thing. It feels like this stupid stomach is ruining my life! I know it sounds dramatic, but if you have severe IBS you will know what a pain it is. It’s actually stressful and depressing and annoyingly stress and depression are 2 things (out of like a billion) that cause my stomach to act up. Basically, I can’t fucking win!

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Big boob problems...

So I’ve always had kinda big boobs, which have since grown after I piled on the weight. Now that I’m slowly (and I mean very slowly, like far too slow for my liking) losing the weight my boobs didn’t seem to get the memo and have continued growing. I mean, not that I’m complaining, I love big boobs, but, the one thing I’m now noticing is the lack of cute bras in my size. Now if I was a D Cup or below I could even go Primark and get a pretty girly bra and knickers set at a good price with no problems. But now that I’m an H cup I’m finding less choice and the pretty bras I have seen are soooo bloody expensive! I’ve seen lots of sales in online bra shop but when I go to check it out either my size mysteriously isn’t in the sale or in some cases is double the price of the A-C Cup.
Also because I’ve been a 36F for years, I never noticed that once you go past a G Cup there’s even less choice than the DD-G range. Seriously finding a bra in H or above is like gold dust. I got so frustrated about not finding anything I liked that I actually cried... Don’t laugh I was on my period hahahahaha. Saying that I did find some beautiful bras on Bravissimo, but OMG they’re so bloody expensive, like an average of £30, and as I needed 2/3 bras I just couldn’t justify spending up to £90 on bras. That’s just ridiculous!
Also another thing I noticed is apparently just because I have big boobs I can’t possibly want/need a padded or push up bra. Like why not? Do I not wanna look sexy too and have my boobs pushed up? (As opposed to round my ankles) Like I hardly saw any padded bras in my size, it’s so stupid!!
Anywayz eventually I found 2 bras in the ‘sale’ on Brastop, They’re both Curvy Kate ones too which I love as they make fab bras that fit me really well. But although the bras are OK (I managed to find 1 padded one too) they’re not the kinda colour/print I’d normally get. Like I love love love balconette bras as they make my boobs look amazing, seriously if you don’t normally wear balconette bras you should try, but, I wish there was more choice of prints and colours.
Also why do these shops assume women with big boobs are rich? Like why do you think we have more money than the ladies with smaller boobs. Why do you assume big boobs equals wealth? I wish that was true. Like why do I have to pay more? It’s like you’re charging me for the hassle of you having to use more material to make the bra. It actually really pisses me off! Why can’t there be an affordable variety of bras, why am I getting punished for my big boobs?! What’s next paying extra council tax for boobs over a G Cup?!

Aaaaaargh soo frustrated!!! But on a side note if any of my big boob readers have found any shops that sell really cute affordable bras please please please let me know x

Friday, 18 March 2016

SingleSuperMummys Beach Bummer cocktail

So if you’re on one of those rare girly holidays without the kids and planning a lazy day on the beach I always say you need the 2 necessities, Big Bottle of Water and Rum. So I’m gonna show you the best way to save money, enjoy a cheap fun fruity rum based cocktail on the beach. I like to call this one The Ultimate Beach Bummer (If there’s already a cocktail with that same name, my ones better lol). The things you will need are:
Mount gay rum
Cranberry juice
Tropical fruit juice
Half a lime
Empty 2 ltr water bottle
Freezer bottles (enough for everyone to have 1 each)
OK so as I don’t really bother with measurements you want to fill a quarter of the empty water bottle with Malibu then half that amount in Mount Gay, the same amount of Cranberry juice, then fill the rest of the bottle with tropical fruit juice. Squeeze a bit of lime, then give the bottle a good shake. Then pour it into everyone’s freezer bottles and you have a nice ice cold refreshing cocktail (Although if like me you hate cold drinks and only drink room temperature, then remove the ice stick from your freezer bottle). It tastes soooo good and is kinda similar to a Malibu Bay Breeze and is very fruity but not as sweet. Also this drink is a creeper so you may want to pack a sandwich to soak up the alcohol a bit as you don’t wanna be completely wasted in the sun. Trust me being drunk during the day is not as fun as being totally trashed at night after the suns gone down ;)

Thursday, 17 March 2016

Early morning flight? I have a playlist for that :)

So when I travel by myself I get early morning flights, which means when I leave my yard it’s normally dark and quiet. So I always make up a playlist the night before full of chilled out songs I’m into at that moment and enjoy listening to them (while I fall asleep) on the long journey to the airport and up until I get on the plane. At those crazy hours of the morning the last thing I wanna listen to is my usual loud hyper music that makes me wanna jump up and dance, no, no, no!!!! I want music that encourages me to be still and relax. These tunes also work well when you’ve had a heavy night and you’re just chilling by the pool or on the beach with a magazine.

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

My top 5 bikinis for plus sized ladies

So I always go crazy buying bikinis in the sale so I have a good selection to suit how bloated or fat I might be feeling. As I always see pics of general bikinis for skinny girls and magazines may feature bikinis for different body shapes, they don’t seem to show bikinis for bigger girls with the same popular body shapes. Because a big girl and a small girl could both have a pear shaped body but a bikini recommended for a small girl with a pear shape would probably not work on a bigger girl. Anywayz, I thought I’d show some of my favourite bikinis for us curvy plus sized ladies.

Now this is my ultimate fav bikini. Its 50s style so the knickers are very high waist so it covers my stomach on days that I’m feeling self conscious about my mummy belly. The top fits like a real padded balcony bra so it’s very supportive and makes your boobs look good. 
This bikini gives you the illusion of curves, even if you’re more wobbly or boy shaped than curvy.

I love love love the print on this bikini. The bottoms are like the average knickers shape so stop under your belly button and the top is like a bandeau, which is something that’s usually hard to wear with big boobs, but, the shape of it and the fact that inside is like a bra so it’s lined and supportive makes it wearable. 
This bikini is perfect for standing out on the beach.

Although I have featured 2 matching bikini sets on my list, I prefer to mix and match and love this bikini. The bottoms are 50’s style but aren’t super high waist like the blue bikini, it stops literally at the top of your belly button so more of your belly is on show. I love to pair it with this black halter neck bikini. This top also is like a fitted bra so you can frolic in the water without your boobs flying everywhere feeling like heavy rocks. 
This for me is perfect 50’s glamour bikini for the alternative girls.

So this one is a bit more daring, if you killed yourself losing weight and toning up and you basically want to flaunt everything. The knickers are between a low rise and a standard so they will cover your belly, but if you have that flappy mummy belly (that’s near impossible to firm) you may find yourself adjusting the kickers a lot and tucking your belly in hahaha. The bikini top is like an air filled bra so it makes your boobs look HUGE! Like seriously it pushes them up to ridiculous levels so do not wear this if you’re not willing to deal with all the attention you will get. It needs to be worn with total confidence.
This bikini is perfect for standing out on the beach.

Another fav mix and match one. The tribal print on the knickers is soo flattering and it’s the standard bikini bottom so sits below your belly button. The tassels give it a cutesy edge. I think the bikini top clashes well with the tribal print and as it’s a fitted padded halter neck bra it makes your boobs look nice and round like apples lol
This is the perfect understated sexy bikini

On a side note: I got all of these bikinis from Primark over the years. So although you may not find the exact same one, you could probably find some very very similar as Primark tend to bring out the same bikinis every year with one or 2 tiny changes to them.

Diary of RD 5

So I'm happy to say that RD seems to have settled down now. He's not been crazy or done any of the things he was doing before, like not listening, screaming, being rude, hitting and throwing things at me and his sister. I'm not sure if he got bored of being told off and having all of his cars taken from him or if he's just being good for now and will be 100 times worse next week, but for now I'm enjoying the peace. I've not done anything differently to make him stop, but maybe the consistency of the consequences for his actions has helped. He has since told me he doesn't like me shouting at him and I told him if you listen and behave mummy wont have to shout, so now he listens.. as much as a 6 year old boy can listen... I'm not saying he's a perfect angel, like sure he has his moments, but he's a lot easier to reign in and will listen to reason. He now seems to get that if he's good he gets a lot of praise. My dad has even got involved and told both of the kids, if they're well behaved then he will take them out for dinner every month. So that's another incentive for them to do the right thing as they love dressing up and going to restaurants to eat.

I'm hoping that this annoying draining phase has now passed, but slightly worried as to what the next phase will be.....

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Flying nannies? I need to fly with Etihad!!

OK so I've been bursting to fly with Etihad since I saw their luxurious uber first class suites The Residence   (because in my head I will experience flying in that class) but, as I know there's a small possibility I might have to fly economy I thought I'd check out what else they have to offer. I now realize why they won the prestigious Air Transport World's Airline of the Year 2016 award. Ok... are you ready for this, they have a flying nanny, yes a nanny, that flies, on the plane. Can you believe it?! And it's not just for them snobby show off ponsey people flying fancy class (although secretly I aspire to be that snobby ponsey show off)
OK, So here's what it says on their website:
Our flying nanny is here to provide an extra pair of hands, whether it's helping getting the kids settled for bed, keeping them entertained or simply offering advice or support to parents...
I'm still in shock, like what a good idea, especially if you're a single parent travelling with the kids. Although they say they can't completely take the kids off your hands as they have to cater to all the families onboard, I'd just purposely fall into a 'deep sleep' at the beginning of the flight then they'd kinda be forced to look after my two little monsters... I mean angels for the duration of the flight #Result! (yes I hashtagged in the middle of a post:) 
Also their nannies aint just any old randoms who went on a 1 day course and secretly despise all forms of children, they're specially trained and approved by the renowned childcare training college for early years professionals so they must know what they're doing right? But then when you've been up all night with a screaming child who won't settle you'd happily palm them off to that crazy lady arguing with herself in the corner if it means you would get a little bit of shut eye hahahahaha

Monday, 7 March 2016


So for years due to my Prolactinoma I have been getting excess hairs on my face and I fucking hate it! This is the one thing I’m super sensitive about. As strong as I am if someone was to notice them (and I feel like I hide them under makeup quite well) and say something evil about the hairs I would probably run away and lock myself in a room and cry. Now because of the Prolactinoma and the Polycystic overies I’ve been told it’s gonna be near impossible to permanatly get rid of them. My Endocrine doctor even told me not to bother wasting my money on Lazer hair removal as it wont work. I’ve tried all kinds of creams and medication for it and so far nothing has worked. Although the Vaniqua cream has made the hairs finer.
OK, So, I was watching a popular beauty blogger Chanel Boateng on YouTube who was brave enough to show her problem with facial hair growth to the world. It really helped as her hairs were in the same kinda areas as mine then when I read the comments it seems to be a popular problem for women and there was lots of helpful tips and suggestions. I noticed one particular comment that said to try Electrolysis as it’s better than Lazer (it's a lot cheaper too) So I literally went straight and booked an electrolysis session.
 So now I've been having regular electrolysis treatments for over a year now and the lovely lady who does it decided to try mixing up the electrolysis with waxing. Which means she does 20 mins electrolyisis and finishes it off with wax and that's made such a big difference. I have also been put on another form of medication to help stop the hair growth so everything seems to be working well together. I mean the hair hasn't completely gone but it's 10 times better than it was in the beginning. I don't know if it will ever completely disappear but I'm happy with any kinda improvement as it just makes me feel soooo self conscience.
Also I don't just rely on the electrolysis and meds, my daily facial routine plays a huge part. It may sound a bit OTT but it really helps:
1. Wash and exoliate with Tea Tree oil facial scrub
2. Cleanse with Anne French
3. Cleanse/Tone with Micellar water
4. Cleanse with Witch hazel
5. Apply Vaniqua cream
6. Apply Tea Tree oil
7. Cream face with Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream

Saturday, 5 March 2016

Coach trips

So because we always get a coach to the airport when we're going on holiday I decided to get a family coach card for the year. It was only £8 and lets one child travel for free. I now want to actually make some real use of it instead of using it once a year to go the airport. I’ve never really been a fan of travelling/holidaying in the UK (Just because I can’t consider anything a holiday unless it’s hot and has a beach) but seeing as the card is paid for I thought why not put it to good use and seeing as National Express runs pretty much everywhere, once the weather gets better I wanna take the kids on a few coach trips. So now I need to research some fun and interesting towns/cities to visit. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated :) Also the kids have their  Innotabs which keep them entertained, so travelling long distance on a coach should be fine.