Saturday, 28 June 2014

Britmums Live

So after having to stand up on a delayed and packed train all the way to London I was actually praying that there would be some wine or something at Britmums and guess what I wasn’t disappointed. There was wine everywhere.
OK so I went there all excited (and maybe a bit deluded) expecting to be greeted by lots of super friendly bloggers. I was thinking OK I’m probably not the first one who is experiencing Britmums for the first time so I’m bound to find a friendly (or lonely) face to chat to. Yeah... that kinda didn’t happen. It was all very overwhelming, the venue was big and obviously full of ladies (and a few gents) who for the most part all seemed to know each other. Who knows, they could’ve been really lovely if I actually had approached them, but I was too scared, so I kinda just kept myself to myself.

But although I was by myself I didn’t feel that alone because I attended all of the sessions and  because I was making so much notes it didn’t really matter if I was with a group of friends or not. I found the talk on Writers Block and unlocking the creative process super helpful because the authors who spoke were all mums (some had more kids than me) and they somehow managed to combine motherhood with life as a writer and that really inspired me to follow some of their practises, particularly setting daily/weekly writing targets for myself. There were also lots of brands there who were all happy and talkative so I entered lots of competitions and took lots of pics with their crazy backdrops which was a lot of fun.

While waiting for the BiB awards ceremony to start in the evening I  looked around and felt like Oh No I am actually alone.

 Then 2 lovely ladies approached me (Mumma G & Living with Mr M) and it was great to find out we were all newbies experiencing the event for the first time.
After a late night I knew there was absolutely no way I would get to day 2 on time but I made sure I got to the talk on Travel Blogging which I had been looking forward to and I also found the session on How to successfully self publish to be the most helpful one. I took sooo much notes. I’d never really been a fan of self publishing before but after hearing Emma Clark Lam talk I was convinced that self publishing was the way to go. Also everyone seemed a lot more relaxed and friendly on the Saturday and I met more lovely bloggers, oh and there was more wine.
At the end of the day we exchanged our blogger badge for a goody bag. Now I’ve seen goody bags before this goody bag pissed on all of them there was sooooo much fabulous stuff, oh and I was surprised/delighted to see a full sized bottle of wine in there.

I’ve just realized from the beginning of this post all I’ve really talked about is wine, OMG you would you would think I’m obcessed with wine or something and that is just ridiculous, like totally absurd *picks up large glass of wine and creeps away*

Saturday, 14 June 2014

Calis Operation :: The Aftermath :: On the mend finally

This is a continuation of the diary click here to read the previous part

So we are now slowly coming up to the time where Cali goes back to school and she seems to be a lot better. She’s not complaining about her throat hurting that much during the day and she’s not waking up at night crying and in pain which is great. So now I’m trying to slowly wean her off the painkillers as I feel she’s now starting to rely on them she even knows what time she normally takes them. I don’t mind giving them to her at night but I’m really trying to get her off the Calpol etc during the day as it would be too much for her to go to school relying heavily on pain killers. The one thing I am worried about is the fact that she has yet to get used to not having her tonsils and she keeps holding around that area anytime she swallows as she says it still stings a bit sometimes. So now I have to somehow get her doctor to come out (although according to the secretary at Calis Surgery they don’t do that, like WTF? What kinda surgery is this??!!!) to check her and make sure her infection is all cleared up and nothing else is happening before I send her back to school next week. Because if anything’s wrong I will have to postpone school until the following week which is going to then upset Cali and probably make her worse as she is bursting to go back to school.

Calis Operation :: The Aftermath :: Wow more blood?!

This is a continuation of the diary click here to read the previous part

Once again Cali woke up crying and in pain so I gave her her medicine and we snuggled and she went back to sleep. Then clearly I went back into a deep sleep and she had woken up to wee as I heard the toilet flushing. Then she came in crying and hysterical, I jumped up like OMG what happened and realized along with the long line of saliva blood was also dripping out her mouth, so I took her back to the bathroom and made her spit in the sink just to make sure it wasn't coming from anywhere else and then I realized that her nose was bleeding too. I was thinking why on earth would her nose be bleeding... then I thought let me find out if she has blown her nose (as she's not supposed to blow her nose really till she's healed) and when she told me that she had, it all made sense.
So clearly she had blown her nose and aggravated something up there to cause the nose bleed then obviously sniffed the blood back up and then it came out her mouth. So I wasn’t too worried as technically it wasn’t coming from her mouth, so I kept a close eye on it and thought, if it happens again then I will definitely take her to hospital.

Luckily there was no more blood but I’m realizing there's random times of the night where she wakes up crying or uncomfortable now sometimes I can give her pain relief but sometimes it’s too soon to the previous dose to be able to give her more and that's the worst part. The most I can do is give her lots of hugs and kisses and hope she eventually drops back to sleep for long enough that I can give her medicine if she wakes again.

Calis Operation :: The Aftermath :: OMG there's blood!!!

This is a continuation of the diary click here to read the previous part

Cali woke up again around 6am crying and in pain and refused to take her medicine again and was actually trying to fight me and knock the medicine out my hand, she was going crazy! Now early morning tantrums mixed with zero sleep= not a happy mummy, I was like you need to take the medicine I’m too tired to deal with you being silly, either you take it or you stay ill then I rolled over and pretended to go back to sleep and started 'snoring' loudly, soon after she tapped me to let me know she was ready to take it.
 I’m finding its a lot worse in the mornings than the evenings, but I've set a tonne of alarms on my phone to remind me to give her the medicine because its at random times.

Then, my worst nightmare happened, she woke that same night crying and coughing up blood. OMG she was soooo hysterical, she really can be a drama queen when she's ready. She worked herself up sooo much she made her situation 10 times worse, so the blood just wouldn't stop because she was tensing up herself so much and putting a strain on her throat. I couldn't even comfort her because she just wanted to flap and scream.So I called the ward that she had been treated on and they told me to bring her into A&E. 

Once there, Cali was initially seen quite quickly but then told we would have to wait 2 hours for a doctor. Note to self never visit A&E late on a Friday night, full of drunk people (shock horror) who had fallen, or been in a fight (surprise surprise) or simply had taken to much of the old nose candy and couldn’t deal with life. Once we had seen the doctor they discovered that Cali had developed a fungal infection (Thrush) in her mouth and her tongue and the back of her throat were all white and fluffy. Now I noticed that her tongue was white but I had planned on cleaning it with a flannel (like what you do with babies) when her throat wasn't so sore, I just assumed it was because she hadn’t been swallowing as much and was maybe a bit dehydrated, but when the Dr pointed it out I was like ‘Is it thrush?’ I swear once you’re a mummy you automatically become a doctor too and can diagnose most things accurately given the right information.

So they gave her some antibiotics that's specifically for oral fungal infections and now she has to take that 4 times a day for a week. Luckily we didn't have to stay in overnight (although I brought an overnight bag just in case) and by the time we got home, around 2.30am Cali decided she was starving so we both had some jelly then went to bed.

Calis Operation :: The day after

This is a continuation of the diary click here to read the previous part

So after a nice sleep Cali woke up crying and in a lot of unbearable pain and was so hysterical she refused to take her medicine. At first I was like 'Oooh please take it for mummy' then after a while of begging, pleading and babying I was like 'LOOK child you need to do as your told and take this medicine before you get some kinda infection and have to stay here forever!' I then switched off the TV and she soon mysteriously calmed down and took it lol

After she managed to eat her lunch a whole heap of different doctors had a look at her and gave her the all clear to go home.

Calis Operation :: Post Op

This is a continuation of the diary click here to read the previous part 

Now the Surgeon said Cali would be away from the ward for 1-2 hours so when the time started to go way past the 2 hour mark I started to worry. Then the surgeon came to find me which made my heart sink. He was like the operation was a success, but, and as soon as I heard “but” I thought OMG I don’t wanna hear anymore. Luckily my cousin was with me and obviously wasn't a nervous wreck like me, so she listened to what he said and took it all in while I just caught little bits and pieces of the worse parts. But basically there was a problem with getting her to wake up from the anaesthesia and she had blocked airways and had stopped breathing and needed oxygen. But all I heard was ‘Shes stopped breathing, Heart, No Oxygen dead.’ She then had to be on the HDU (High Dependancy Unit) and was hooked up to all kinds of monitors which made me scared all over again. Even when she woke up I was scared to touch her, it was almost like she was a new born again (I was petrified to touch her then because she was tiny and I thought I might break her) she was like “Mummy why are you scared?” I was like “I’m not scared, I just don’t wanna hurt you” and she was like “Mummy you won’t hurt me and if you do I will tell you so there's no need to be scared” Yes, she’s only 5 lol  She clearly dealt with it a lot better than me all I did was cry for most of the day while she just got on with it.
The bad thing about her staying in HDU was that there was no bed for me to sleep in so I would've had to sleep in the chair (which I wasn't looking forward to.) Then after monitoring her they moved her back onto the ward (where I had a bed and could sleep right beside her) but they put her right at the front by the nurses station so they could keep a close eye on her and she was once again hooked up to a machine to monitor her oxygen levels, which obviously freaked me out again. Then I was too scared to sleep. Although she was fine and while other kids screamed and cried she just snuggled with my tablet and watched Jem.
So I decided to run to the loo quickly and on my way back I heard an alarm going on then realized it was her oxygen alarm and then saw a nurse rushing over to her which made my heart sink. Although she was completely fine I was scared to wee or sleep after that.

Saturday, 7 June 2014

Calis Operation :: Anaesthesia

This is a continuation of the diary click here to read the 1st part 

A nurse came by and gave Cali both Parecetamol and Ibruprofen (it wasn’t until I watched that NHS DVD that I realized you can give both at the same time, OMG I wish I would’ve known that from before) Cali seriously savoured the medicine because it was the first liquid she had consumed since early morning, she really took her time taking them and was like ‘Mmmm that was yummy’ after.

My mum then changed Cali into her hospital gown and slippers and I walked with her and the nurses down to theatre. She was all happy and smiling and already knew exactly what was gonna happen. Now I thought we were both prepared until we actually got into the room and she was on the bed, surrounded by a load of doctors. Then the anaesthetist put in her cannula and put a ‘special straw’ on the canula and then put the ‘special milk’ in. Now I knew from the DVD that the ‘Special milk’ puts them straight to sleep but to see it with you own eyes in front of you is a completely different thing to seeing it happen to someone elses child on TV. Cali was knocked out straight away even before they finished injecting the anesthetic. It was sooo hard to watch because one minute she was talking and the next her head slumped back with her eyes wide open, she looked dead! Now that was a shocker. I literally just stood there wide eyed like O-M-G! I didn’t even know what to do with myself, I couldn’t even move. Clearly the doctors have seen this reaction before and kinda pulled me over to give her a kiss then ushered me out the room.

On the walk back to the ward I was still in shock and my heart was pounding then when I got back to Calis bed and saw my mum and just broke down, I seriously couldn’t stop crying.

Cali's Operation:: Pre Op

So if you read my earlier post you will know that Cali was due to have her Tonsils and Adenoids out and Gromets put in. So I thought I'd keep a little diary of her operation and her road to recovery.

Wednesday 3rd June
So Wednesday was the big day we had been preparing for, the big Op. I hadn’t told Cali too much about the operation beforehand because 1, I didn’t want to freak her out and 2, I didn’t want her to keep asking me if today was the 3rd June. I did tell her little bits and pieces over the weeks but I waited until the same day to show her the DVD the hospital had given me to show her about what would happen on the day of the operation and I’m glad I did it that way because everything was fresh in her mind and she wasn’t scared at all. The DVD is brilliant btw so well done to the NHS for making the scary world of operations understandable to small children.
Because Cali was going to be going under anaesthesia she had to starve from 7.30am which wasn’t ideal but I decided to starve with her.
So my parents came over to drop us at the hospital and all Cali was concerned about was making sure she looked pretty for her operation, brushing her Barbies hair and getting one last horsey ride from granddad.

When we got to the children's ward all the staff were lovely and friendly. Once we got settled in Calis bed a nurse came around to put some ‘Magic cream’ on Calis hands. This was basically to numb them so they could put the cannula in just before the operation.

We were then told that Cali was 2nd to last on the list so probably wouldn’t be seen till 4pm now I WAS NOT AMUSED, because who want’s their baby to go without food from 7.30 till after 4pm, she wasn’t even allowed to drink water, poor thing. But once again she just took it in her stride.
To try take her mind off of food (and my mind too because I was starving) we went in the play room which was full of fun activities. So Cali listened to some music, played on the Wii and even did some arts and crafts. She actually didn’t wanna leave.
I had to sneak off and get some food because as the hours rolled on I just felt hungry and faint and then I just felt bad eating and Cali couldn’t eat which made the food not even taste nice.

But the time I came back the Surgeon was there and I had to sign a few forms, then they marked Cali so they would know exactly which ear to put the grommet in.