Thursday, 16 July 2020

My son was racially profiled at school pt 2

So I'm wondering if the whole being outraged about the treatment of black people was passing fad or if people do still believe that black lives matter. I mean I really can't ignore it when I live with the colour of my skin everyday, even worse I'm the mother of a black boy who unfortunately has already experienced racism and also racial profiling from the same people who really should be protecting him at this age...teachers. Now this happened a couple years ago and he's since moved schools and his new school have like a zero tolerance for racism but he's still had to go through it and unfortunately it's only a taster of things to come for him. 
I actually went to a couple protests and took the kids as I wanted them to experience it and learn and I was happy to see so many people there outside of black folk and very impressed that most had really interesting stuff on their banners like clearly they'd been reading and learning. Here's my problem, obviously not all white people are racist but I feel the protests have only made the non racist white folk more educated on our struggle and more likely to call out inequality and help if they can which is obviously a good thing. But, the people who are the problem, will still be racist, dangerous and ignorant and couldn't give 2 shits about protests, news etc this will not change them or their thought process and if those kinda people continue to be in  positions of authority what does that mean for people like me? Not gonna lie,

racist people scare me

 Cuz they're soooo full of hate you just don't know what they're gonna try do to you.

So going back to the school and RD being racially profiled, I actually touched on it briefly in a past post but I also did a video on it, so you can see exactly what he had to deal with and maybe why teachers should maybe go through extra screening or something before being allowed to teach black kids.

Wednesday, 15 July 2020

So yeah I'm fat again

OK so while everyone was busy doing all those free online workout sessions and committing to being healthy and losing weight during lockdown I guess I was busy doing the total opposite, you know being the rebel I am and all that... So basically I'm a fat cow now and absolutely nothing fits so I've been living in my fat clothes which basically consist of leggings, oversized tops, joggers and basically anything super stretchy. I'm so annoyed with myself because all my cute clothes are a 16 and I can't even nearly fit in them. I've been ordering these cute bodycon dresses off PLT in the hope they'll inspire me to lose weight but really they're just sitting there wasting my money.
I was actually supposed to be going Barbados for Cropover this month but obviously stupid rona made that get cancelled, but good thing too cuz I am nowhere near bikini ready. Saying that maybe the past month I have been getting up early and doing my yoga and trying to eat well and cut down and alcohol. I even cycle everyday and yet that makes absolutely no difference to my expanding waistline.
Sometimes I look at myself and cry cuz I hate how I look, just my body though cuz I like my face and my hair. Like I don't believe I'm ugly I just hate my body and the rate at which I put on weight. I know my tumour doesn't help as it makes it very easy for me to pile the weight on and extremely hard to lose it but I'm now just fed up of it all. I just have to go harder with the exercising, like I have enough workout DVDs that literally cover everything I need to stop playing the ass and just do them. Apart from the obvious health benefits I just wanna look good in a bodycon dress and fit into my pretty clothes again. I'm not trying to be a stick insect, 16 is my happy size as I keep my curves and I like my big boobs and newly acquired ass so that's the goal.
Actually I'd love to look like this again, this is when I went to Barbados for my bday October 2019, I actually thought I was super fat but looking at it now I feel I was a good size.

So expect to see more progress pics on my SkinnyFatCow page, hopefully you can watch me shrink into a more comfortable size and be happy and confident again. Speaking of confidence I feel I must be an amazing fake it till you make it type person because when I tell people I'm not that confident or I feel self conscious etc they're always shocked as they say I come across as very confident all the time, I dunno, maybe it's the hair...
Anywayz till I lose the weight I'll only be posting pics of my face till my body catches up lol

Thursday, 5 December 2019

Learning Japanese....again...

OK so I'm leaning Japanese again for the billionth time because I totally dropped off. I was doing so well and understanding Hiragana and even recognise a tiny tiny tiny bit of Kanji and now it's a bit like huh? I was doing it everyday then for some reason I just stopped, but now I'm back at it again. I feel if I can master this language it will make life easier when I get round to learning Chinese and Korean (which are next on my list) and once I'm conversational I will then reward myself with a trip to Japan and be one of those annoying tourists who just talks unnecessarily to the locals just so they can see that I speak their language lol (even if it's somewhat dodgy) 

Although what I'm finding tough is that I don't have anyone to speak it with, I'm teaching the kids slowly so their vocab is super  limited like even more so than mine, and I tried to join this app where you can have conversations with people from around the world and they help you speak their language but I just ended up with a load of creepy guys who wanted to date me and be like 'I want to kiss you, please be my girlfriend' hahahahahahaha so obviously came off of that. Cuz I wouldn't mind the creepiness if they were actually helping in any of the languages I said I needed help in, but no just being creepy in broken English isn't fun or helpful.

Anywayz if you're actually attempting to learn Japanese let me know we can talk and help eachother  😊

Oh and here's that time when I got all smug and tried to learn 4 languages; Japanese, Mandarin, German and Spanish simultaneously, Ha! Yeah... didn't work...

Wednesday, 4 December 2019


OK so normally I have really shitty unpredictable periods but one thing that is always predictable is my craving for anything sweet. So in the run up to and during my period I will always stuff my face with sweets, but eat normally outside of that. But this month OMG I've just turned into eaty girl, I'm literally eating everything in sight and I can't stop myself because when I stop it's almost like my mouth is still chewing and salivating wanting more food inside it hahahahahahaha.

Like lastnight I ate dinner, then went back for more chicken then took another piece... then some more...bloody chickens basically done now an it was supposed to last 2 days. The made myself a sandwich with normal white bread knowing full well white bread is the devil to me. The ate off a packet of chocolate biscuits (you know them fancy ones that are rectangles and buttery and plain on one side and patterned and chocolate on the other) once again knowing chocolate and biscuits are my stomachs arch enemy and I get punished for consuming either one. Not satisfied with that I then went to get some crisps. Then went back for another ham sandwich then followed that up with some shortbread. 

I did feel completely stuffed and like shit but it's like I physically couldnt stop eating, so now I'm really concerned that I'm about to have the mother of all periods. 

Also in the meantime I've been piling on the weight lol shock horror and most of my clothes don't fit and I refuse to buy new ones cuz Ilike my old ones. OOooooooh somebody take away my food and stop me from eating!!!!

Monday, 25 November 2019

OMG it's been over year!

Yes it's actually been over a year since I blogged. I kinda lost of writing mojo (that seems to be happening to me more frequently these days) but after seeing something Sareta posted on Instagram today it inspired me to get back into blogging. I'm also hoping blogging will spark my imagination and help me get back into writing my erotic fiction again, as I really did enjoy that too.

OK... so what's been happening in the last year and a bit....? Hmmmm.... OK so I did a counsellor course and now I'm a qualified counsellor. But obviously I wanna go more into the couples and sex therapy side so I've been reading up a lot about sex and relationships and just life in general and making it better and changing your future. I've also been trying to learn Japanese (again for the billionth time) and brush up on my Spanish (yes...again...) Ooh and it was my bday last month so I'm now one more step closer to 40. Tbh I'm really looking forward to my 40th as I already know exactly what I'm doing, so I now luckily I have 3 years to save for it lol

Sooo Miss Madam has been doing really well at school and is always on some kinda sports tournament and she is the ultimate book worm I really wish I loved books as much as her. Oh and shes an anime fan and loves drawing the characters which is great as she is now hearing bits and pieces of Japanese.

RD has now turned into Mr Independant. He went from being super clingy to happily doing things by himself. He is also doing really well at school and has started really getting into sports too, although he still loves his performing arts.

One thing that hasn't changed is they're still eating me out of house and home and growing way too quickly for my liking.

OK so now we're all up to date, I'm gonna make an effort to blog often, at least once a week, maybe even more, ooooh exciting. Soooo I'm just realzing to time and I need to go do the school run so I'm gonna say bye before I ramble on. But have a lovely afternoon and make the most of those final moments of peace and quiet before the 'little angels' come home lol

Enjoy x

Thursday, 27 September 2018

Miss independent

OK so I know I normally complain about miss madam and her stink attitude and slick mouth but one thing I do admire about her is that she's never afraid to get stuck in. She will always chuck herself into a new situation without giving it a second thought. She never says she's scared and requests for me to follow her and hold her hand. She will go by herself and figure it out and doesn't want you interfering. She's very independent in that way. The one great thing is I know I never have to worry about her if she has to go away. Because with RD I'm there worrying about did he make friends if he by himself is he OK does he need me? But with Miss madam I know she just goes in and people are drawn to her and she just makes friends. She only needs me when she needs me, and she'll let me know if and when that is. My sister was saying it's a first born thing, but that's one quality I hope stays with her. So that when she finally flies the nest (whoop whoop! lol) I will be able to sleep at night and not lie awake getting grey hairs worrying about if she'd managing, because I know she will :)