Monday, 21 November 2016

Completely new child!!


Its amazing how one huge thing that you would think would have a negative impact on your kids can work in the total opposite way.
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So for years I’ve been having problems with Cali, she’s not necessarily naughty and hard ears like RD but she is spiteful, rude, grumpy, disrespectful, abrupt, and snappy and loves to backchat and ignore people who are talking to her. She also loved to purposely do stuff to get her brother in trouble (as he loves to follow her) and sit back and watch the carnage. She showed no affection (apart from to her best friend at school) family always have to beg her for a kiss or cuddle. She also hated smiling and just wasn’t a happy child. To be honest she was a horrible little shit and I hated it. I know it sounds bad but I actually didn’t like being around her as it just took all my energy as she was such a negative ball of energy.
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Like I was so frustrated, I’d tried so many things and been on so many parenting courses and nothing had helped. I know she inherited her shitty attitude problem and spitefulness from her dad as he is a horrible spiteful person (amongst other things) and she was just like him in a sense. After talking to professionals and having her observed in class, I just settled on the fact that it was a nasty trait that she may just live with until one of her peer’s pulls her up on it.
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People told me to pray for her as the power of prayer is an amazing thing... if you believe.... and although I’m not a religious person, I prayed for her every night and never stopped trying with her.
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OK so the big change I mentioned in the beginning is that the kid’s dad hasn’t been in their life for the past few months now. There’s been no contact at all and I’ve never seen Cali and RD so content before, especially Cali. Since she hasn’t seen her dad she has been the happiest child, like seriously I didn’t even know she could be this way. Like everyday she wakes up happy. She’s soooo loving, I get hugs and kisses all the time and the attitude has gone, along with the constant sarcasm and spitefulness. She even talks differently, like in a more cheerful tone and no longer ignores people and will actually acknowledge them and say ‘Hi’ which is a big deal. She also apologises when she’s done something wrong and actually means it.
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If I’m tired she’s right there making sure I’m ok or she will make me sit down and bring me a drink or something, whereas before she would just sit and watch people suffer. Her relationship has changed with RD too it’s like she finally realizes she is his big sister and now looks out for him and shows him a lot of love and RD loves kisses and hugs so he’s in his element. She’s even decided she doesn’t wanna be known as the nickname we used to call her as she said that little girl wasn’t nice and she’s not that little girl anymore which I thought was very mature of her.
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So most people (including me) would think an absent father would make problems worse but in this case it seems to be the best thing that could’ve happened. So it makes me wonder, all this time was it actually their dad who was the problem? But if my kids are the happiest I’ve ever seen them, then I’m glad it worked out this way.

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