Monday, 18 January 2016

Is she dumbing herself down to be popular?

OK so Cali has always been very advanced/brainy. Yes she takes after her mummy *insert smug face here* but I noticed from nursery that she would pretend to not know certain things so that she wouldn't stand out. Even her nursery teachers noticed and would encourage her to put her hand up. Fast forward a few years and I've noticed recently that she seems to be doing it again. She acts like she doesn't know certain things (that she actually knows) and going along with fuckeries that certain friends say, when she blatantly knows it’s bollocks, but won’t correct them. Also in reception she was an over achiever and now she doesn't seem to be scoring as highly. Although I'm obviously still doing homework and further learning so that she can stay top of the class, she seems to be happy to fly under the radar. Now she'd nearly 7 so I know that friends and fitting in are very important at that age (although I've always taught my kids not to be followers and how it's good to be different and stand out) So now I'm wondering if she thinks being clever and knowing a lot will make her lose friends.. 

I was very advanced at her age too, mainly because I have a super brainy sister who is 9 years older than me who I used to always be up underneath. She would always sit and read with me and teach me stuff. I also didn't really used to try at school because I knew I would pass tests with good grades simply from my general knowledge, I actually did this all the way up to uni... But, I never tried to dumb myself down for my friends, if anything I was the total opposite. My hand was always up, I always had something to say and I was happy to tell my friends stuff that I knew and they didn't treat me any different we were all still cool. I've tried explaining this to Cali but I don’t think she’s quite grasped it. I've even bluntly told her if she keeps pretending to not know things people will think she’s thick and needs special help, when she clearly doesn't. I've also tried telling her you don't go down to someone's level, you help bring them up to yours. I honestly don’t know what to tell her to make her stop doing this...


  1. I can understand how this is worrying for you bt it also sounds like she has a lot of emotional intelligence. When you make it obvious you know more than others it can make them feel intimidated or insecure. She's got plenty of time to find the right balance, especially with a mum like you encouraging her to celebrate her talents :)

    1. Thanks :) I'm sure she'll understand as she gets older. I'm just worried about her doing it to the extent where her school work starts to suffer and then it somehow effects her confidence. I'm probably looking too far into the future...