Monday, 19 October 2015

Poetry

So I used to love writing poems when I was younger it was kinda my form of therapy. If I was going through something I'd always write a poem to help me deal with the problem. So I came across this one that I wrote maybe 10 years ago when I was really depressed about my weight, as I was really fat before I had Cali then managed to slim down to a size 12 just before I got pregnant. I think this poem sums up exactly how I feel at the moment about my weight.
.................

Afraid of the dark 

Feeling insecure,
Stray thoughts float around my head as
I try to sleep.
What’s disturbing me?
Nothing
Everything,
Depressed,
Feel like I’m going crazy.
Keep seeing things
Strange things,
No longer optimistic
I’m slipping away
I know
I can feel it
Someone throw me a lifeline
Before I sink completely.
What’s going on?
How do I go from being so sure
To not sure at all.
Everything disgusts me
Including me
Ugly that’s how I feel
Once confident about me
Now I run from me
Like running from me helps me to escape,
But there’s no escaping me,
Looking in the mirror
I see ‘You are fat!’ staring back.
Maybe if I close my eyes
I might disappear,
Too ashamed to be visible.
Who knew?
I’d be

Afraid of the dark.

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