So after being asked 10 million questions by the customs lady when I landed in Tobago and her not being able to grasp how someone could simply be flying into Tobago for a short break to meet their friend for her birthday, attend the Jazz Festival and fly home on the same flight, I knew she would’ve sent mine and my friends details back to the UK so they could stop us. Because I guess flying into Tobago by yourself makes you some kinda drugs mule... She even made a note of my friend’s name who I was meeting because once again she couldn’t grasp how someone (my bestie who I was meeting) who is from England and went on holiday to Trinidad and then came to Tobago for the last leg, wouldn’t have a Trinidad or Tobago cell phone. How stupid is that?? She was like who brought your ticket? I just looked at her baffled like ‘Who was supposed to buy my ticket? Oh yeah some random guy brought me my ticket and another random guy packed my suitcase and helped me stuff the drugs up my ass’ OMG some people are so dumb.
So anyway as we went through the Nothing to declare section some officer just appears from nowhere and calls me and my friend over to the side to question us, surprise surprise. Now I know how these things work I’m addicted to them airport/customs/border shows so I know that Tobago would’ve passed on our details and the people in the UK along with their sniffer dogs would’ve already checked our suitcases before we even got to them, so why she wanted to ask questions about the contents of our suitcases was beyond me. She was actually asking annoying pointless questions which made us have an attitude. I was thinking either ask proper questions or let us go through because the questions she asked would not have determined anything at all.
Some of the dumb questions she asked:
“Where are you coming from?” When clearly she had been watching us so knew what flight we were on.
“Are you travelling together?”
“Did you buy your tickets at the same time?” When we said no she was like why? Ummm because we didn’t, what are we joined at the hip that we must book everything simultaneously?!
“Do you have anything to declare?” I was like Yep I’ve got rum and she was like anything else to declare? Yep more rum, Fool!
Now please tell me how any of them questions (which I could’ve easily lied about) would’ve have determined if me or my friend were dodgy. Maybe she needed to go watch the same border control shows as me then she can learn how to question potential drugs mules properly. Because she didn’t even pat us down, I could’ve been carrying a whole load of anything and because of her shit approach if I was dodgy I would’ve free to roam about the UK.
So anyway after that we just wanted to get some food and there was no way we were gonna stay in the North Terminal with their non existent shops so we caught the shuttle over to the South terminal. If you’ve not been on the shuttle before it’s like the DLR in London, like a little electric train that drives itself and takes all of 2 minutes to get to the other terminal. Once there we headed straight to our usual Giraffe (click here for review) for a full English, tea and the obligatory Mimosa.
After breakfast we said our goodbyes as we both boarded our coaches in opposite directions. Then En route home we were told that a huge accident on the M4 had meant motorway was blocked so we diverted only to get stuck in the worst traffic I’ve ever experienced in my life! It took me about 5 hours to get home and on top of that my bloody battery died. I didn’t get how one accident on one motorway could literally bring 1 town to a complete standstill. It was such a mission I felt like I needed another holiday just to get over the drama!!!