Monday, 21 July 2014

I feel so helpless :(

So last summer I got really bad food poisoning to the point where I got very very ill and lost weight. I went to sooo many specialist Doctors who ran like a billion tests on me, I even had a colonoscopy which was the worst experience of my life, I kicked and screamed and cried and went on like a big drama queen because of the pain, my behaviour even shocked me lol I was eventually told I had IBS and was put on Amitriptyline (which in higher doses is used for depression) and was referred to a dietitian who put me on a LowFodmap diet which basically eliminates a load of food groups then slowly reintroduces them to you so you can see which food group is causing problems.

Now for the past few months my stomach had actually been getting better because previously my stomach had been sooo bad I couldn’t leave the house or take the kids to school and if I did manage to take them they would always be late, my stomach would be bubbling and everything, which then made me anxious to leave the house which then made me stressed.

So you can imagine my annoyance when
the same symptoms mysteriously came back like a week ago. OMG it’s been like hell, I’ve been in soo much pain and literally have to sprint to the toilet because it’s that urgent, which is exactly how it was before. Today on the way to school we actually had to make a detour to Morissons just because my stomach started hurting all of a sudden and it was so painful I actually started sweating. Then once we made it to the toilets it was almost like we were trapped because there was no way my stomach would hold out long enough for me to walk them to school, so my mums friend had to come rescue us basically.

So now I’m stressed out again because I honestly don’t know what’s causing it, it’s like I’m all the way back to square one again. If I go to the doctors I don’t know what else they can do apart from up the dosage of the Amitriptyline which they don’t really want to do as it’s already a strong tablet and they’re scared it might just knock me out.  I’ve now gone back and eliminated all the food groups again in a desperate attempt to fix things because I was sick all last summer I don’t wanna repeat it this summer. Also because I’m feeling so fragile it’s like I’m scared to eat again and when I do eat I stress myself out soo much worrying if what I’ve just eaten will hurt my belly or send me to the toilet; that I end up getting a severe stomach ache anyway, it’s like I can’t win. Sometimes I will just sit and cry to myself because I feel so helpless, I really hate having this problem it really affects my life. 

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